The One Where They Grew Up

Friends anyone? 

So. Yesterday I received a phone call at 8pm from App State. I have been invited for the GAPP interview weekend! This means that I am interviewing for two separate positions ( RD or Community Development) as a graduate assistant. Unfortunately it does not mean that I got into the graduate school. Still waiting on them to finish "reviewing" my applications. (HOW LONG DOES THAT TAKE!!?!?!?) I am so nervous. But extremely excited. I go up there next Thursday (YIKES) and  they have all sorts of meet and greet type things. I'll stay with another graduate student and there is tours of the school and the town and then on Friday and Saturday the interviews take place. I was literally jumping up and down I was so excited. This is a rare occurrence (those of you who know me, know this) but it was quite liberating. I called my mom and managed to get it all out to her before i squealed again. Then I ran outside to call dusty (stupid cell service) and we squealed together. Then as I was hanging up with Dusty, Kyle came walking up and I ran down the stairs and jumped on him and stringed some words that apparently made sense to tell him what was happening. AHHHH. Then today and when i got to the office and my supervisor got off the phone I told her, the other intern and the other caseworker what was happening... and squealed a few more times. I was starting to go into a mild panic this afternoon but then I talked to Lance and he gave me some pointers on what to say and how to act and I feel much more confident. Right now anyway. Next week I will be a mess I'm sure. oi vey.

SO EXCITED!!!!!!!

But anyway: On growing up.

Yesterday we had the School of Education convocation. Basically a commissioning service. They hold it every year and its mostly directed at Education majors but they include the Psych and Social Work majors anyway. We wear graduation robes and walk and everything. Dean Nery BUTCHERED my name as I walked across the stage. absolutely mangled it. Ssstory CATlin Urbaanik? I cringed as Mr. Gore handed me my pin and could hear my classmates giggling behind me. I was happy as a lark cause we were allowed to sit wherever so I sat with Kyle (duh) and we were ourselves and made fun of people most of the service. They sang Lonesome Road. LONESOME ROAD. One of the worlds most depressing songs ever. i mean. SERIOUSLY.   Dusty and Sarah shot me a look from where they were sitting and we just rolled our eyes and laughed at the horrible choice in music. We could laugh only because its not graduation. Had it been graduation the 3 of us would have been bawling our eyes out. 

But anyway. It was kind of a precursor to graduation. And it made me realize even more how close that blessed day is. (88 days!) I am nervous excited sad and scared... and maybe just a wee bit proud. Not just of myself, of my friends too. I'm proud of the fact that we made it (almost) and that we did it together (for the most part) and that we are supportive of each other. I'm proud of the knowledge (academic and otherwise) that we have obtained and the growth we have all experienced. I'm so happy to report that I am confident that these people that I stood on stage with are ready to move on and to work or go to grad school and that they will do so successfully. I'm confident that Sarah, Carl, Christi and Kyle are going to be fantastic teachers who will have an incredible impact upon the children in their classrooms. I know that Dusty is going to ROCK UNT's world and when she's done that the autism field will have gained a great asset. I am sure that Josh will do an excellent job working at DSS. He has definitely already excelled in his internship. I'm still on the fence about myself. I think I'd be fine in grad school though I know it will be a great challenge... but if I don't get in I'd be just as happy working for Child Protective Services or perhaps in a school. But for now I think we'll all be ok... if not great. 

I think for the most part I am excited about moving on. Its scary because you can't go back. There is no rewinding or starting over. But the future is wide open... and I'll take it as it comes... and maybe give it a few surprises of my own.
Walk down that lonesome road all by yourself

Don't turn your head back over your shoulder
And only stop to rest yourself when the silver moon
Is shining high above the trees
If I had stopped to listen once or twice
If I had closed my mouth and opened my eyes
If I had cooled my head and warmed my heart
I'd not be on this road tonight

Carry on

Never mind feeling sorry for yourself
It doesn't save you from your troubled mind

Walk down that lonesome road all by yourself
Don't turn your head back over your shoulder
And only stop to rest yourself when the silver moon
Is shining high above the trees
[That Lonesome Road- James Taylor] (seriously???)